The downside of chocolate

So this Fall marks the first year that I am so completely destitute that I was unable to purchase any new school clothes for the boys. My mother-in-law kindly gave me $200 to buy the absolute necessities. (Shoes, backpacks, lunchboxes, and a few t-shirts.)

I had grumpily resigned myself to putting the kids in their summer shorts for as long as I could, while the weather was still remotely warm, and then buying jeans and long sleeved shirts as the funds became available.

So yesterday, I went through their clothes, and separated the acceptable, soon-to-be school clothes from the trashed, play clothes. I selected each item carefully, checking for rips, stains, missing buttons, etc. I came up with 6 pairs of shorts and 8 t-shirts that would have to do. Then, I threw them into the washing machine so that they would be clean, fresh, and crisp for the first week at a brand new school.

This morning, I went to fold and hang up the clothes, and was horrified to find that literally every single piece of clothing was covered in small, dark brown stains. I scraped at the stains, smelled it, and to my utter dismay, realized the culprit. Chocolate! (Chocolate is probably 2nd to blood in it’s staining qualities.) I immediately knew what had happened. Pigpen had happened.

Pigpen, the only child that I have ever had to call Poison Control for. Twice. Before his second birthday.

Pigpen, the toddler I found at naptime, with a huge jar of Desitin diaper rash ointment, all of which had been rubbed into every square inch of his head. He had white hair and smelled of fish oil for a week.

Pigpen, the child who, at 3 years old, arrived at daycare with a pair of pliers hiding underneath his shirt. (Thank God I discovered the treasure while hugging him goodbye.)

And yes, Pigpen, who is notorious for storing blackberries, frogs, and yes, melted chocolate, in his pockets.

My mouth dropped open and I felt my blood begin to boil. The laundry basket was promptly kicked across the room, chocolate splattered clothes flying everywhere. I heard myself start wailing as I ran to my room, throwing myself on my bed and sobbing into my pillow while the entire family jumped quickly to come to my aid.

Anyway, I’m better now. The chocolate is being scrubbed with toothbrushes, each miserable speck at a time. Thank God for Oxiclean. Mothers of boys everywhere salute you.

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1 Response to “The downside of chocolate”


  1. 1 stoogy September 6, 2006 at 12:08 pm

    Sorry, but that made me laugh 😀


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