Suri Cruise to appear in Vanity Fair

So this morning, I opened up my good ole trusty Internet Explorer, and was greeted, as usual, by my MSN homepage. (My only source of current events, if you don’t count the Island local news, which you can’t really count.)

I see that Suri Cruise, daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, has finally been photographed and is set to appear in the next Vanity Fair.

This whole Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes pregnancy/birth/newborn/baby saga has driven me crazy from the start. Here’s why.

#1 Give Katie a break, for God’s sake. If one day you found out that Tom Cruise had a crush on you, I’m willing to bet my life that you would drop everything and accept his advances. Even if that meant being followed around by crazy Scientologists, going through all sorts of creepy religious training, and putting up with Tom’s wild antics.

#2 Give Tom a break for the jumping-on-Oprah’s-couch episode. God forbid a man show any sort of unleashed emotion for the woman he loves. May all of you mean spirited, jealous hags die as old maids.

#3 Stop acting like Tom Cruise was a total nutcase for wanting Katie to have a natural, silent birth. As opposed to the gruesome, traumatizing, paralyzing, drug induced, surgical and/or narcotic laced births that the majority of you are having? Please.

#4 I won’t even mention the stupid rumor that Katie’s “baby bump” was staged, and then these conspiracy theories that Suri didn’t even exist. How painful those claims must be to a brand new mother.

#5 Kudos to Tom and Katie for keeping their baby in seclusion for the first few months of life. This is the way it should be done, and IS done throughout most world cultures.

#6 Also, bravo to them for getting Annie Lebowitz to take the first photos. I hope the jerks and paparazzi in the media that perpetuated all of this ugliness take one look at Suri’s beautiful little face and feel just a small inkling of remorse.

4 Responses to “Suri Cruise to appear in Vanity Fair”

  1. 1 stoogy September 6, 2006 at 12:14 pm

    Sorry, but Tom Cruise is still a prick lol

  2. 2 stoogy September 7, 2006 at 6:06 pm

    Well he is! lol I can’t stand the guy. He’s so full of shit and is incredibly fake. What he said about Brooke Shields was way out of line too, the ignorant cock, asswipe, shithead, bastard, motherfucker! I am calm!!! lmao

    So how was your day? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. 3 Nikolai September 8, 2006 at 11:29 am

    dude, you realise that TOm Cruise wanted that silent birth because he believes in scientology, and that birthing in a non-silent way will produce engrams and make the mother vulnerable to alien thethans?

    You know I believe in natural birthing, and especially water birthing and such like, to reduce the stress on mother and child, and disapprove of the medical profession’s treatment of pregnant women, but please don’t use this as an excuse to glorify Tom “Mad as a fucking hatter” Cruise. He’s a dickwad, end of story.

  4. 4 stoogy September 8, 2006 at 5:46 pm

    What are the possible effects of an epidural on the baby?

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