Do Girls Fart?

The other day, B was playing with Animal. He lifted him up in the air, twirled him around, tickled him, etc. Just the way you play with a baby. Well, at one point, Animal’s butt was right in B’s face when Animal let loose a big ole baby fart. I started giggling. When I had recovered, I asked B, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if we just let loose every time we felt some gas coming on? No matter what we were doing, or where we were, or how inappropriate it might be???”

B gave me this weird look and said “Uh, I DO let loose like that.” LOL!

I was retelling the story to my mom later, and we were laughing about how true that is. Men will seriously fart anywhere at anytime.

But women…oh we are complete opposites. We will squeeze our buttcheeks as hard as we can, and tighten up our buttholes until the urge passes. If we’re walking, we’ll find an excuse, or a nonchalant way to stop, look natural, tighten, and wait. As a result, women everywhere are suffering from painful gas, bloating, indigestion, irritable bowel syndrome, and the list goes on and on.

Now I know you men are thinking “Do you *ever* let it out?” Well, of course we do. The appropriate time is when we’re on the toilet. So when we sit down to pee, we let out the air first, and then start the tinkle.

It’s the funniest thing in the world to be in a busy women’s restroom and hear every single woman open a stall door, unzip, sit down on the pot, fart, and then pee. Every time man, every time! LOL! And actually, a lot of us are self-conscious about anyone in the public restroom hearing our pre-pee farting. So we have learned to cough or simultaneously flush the toilet while we’re doing the deed. Come on ladies, don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about!

3 Responses to “Do Girls Fart?”

  1. 1 Nikolai September 13, 2006 at 3:16 am

    The appropriate time to let out a fart is when you’re in a group of friends or peers who can then try to “better” your flatulence either in terms of tone, pitch or volume.

    For example, my friends and I used to go to the cinema in the holidays – and after to McDonalds. Maccy Ds had hollow plastic seats, which amplified our farts. One time I let out an absolute peach, high pitched, and you could feel the ambient frequency on the seat. About 10 tables looked around at us.

    But then, to better it, Euan let out the best fart I’d ever heard. It was an absolute bass-tone ripper, actually shook the fucking seat we were sitting on, and went on for so long even the girls in the kitchen and at the counter were distracted by it.

    Then we carried on and ate our burgers. Good times.

  2. 2 stoogy September 16, 2006 at 7:22 pm

    The same Euan who just got married to an American girl in the US lol I think he’s changed a bit since his farting days (I think lol). I hope he doesn’t fart over the tannoy while flying, that might upset his passengers lmao

  3. 3 Mortgage Information Plus September 17, 2007 at 8:18 pm

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