I heart Tony Soprano

I swear that I’m always the last person to catch on to things. I’m always the last to see a great movie, because I wait until it’s out on DVD. I’m always the last to hear a new album, because I don’t listen to the radio and have no clue what’s going on in the world around me. I was the last person I knew to own an iPod. And because I can never afford cable television, I was also a few years behind on watching the Sex and the City episodes. I caught it on DVD and started watching the seasons while everyone was else was watching the CURRENT episodes on HBO and I was swearing them to secrecy.

Well, I’ve done it again. I have finally caught on to The Sopranos. Right now, I’m watching the first season, an episode each night. I’m only about…six years behind. I can’t believe I waited this long. The show is fucking fantastic. It sucks you in, it’s fascinating, and it’s hilarious.

However, it only took the 3rd episode for me to realize that I was forming a strange sexual obsession for the main character, Tony Soprano. (Played by James Gandolfini.) I don’t know what the deal is here. The man is old, fat, and bald. He has MOOBS for Chrissakes. I cannot keep my eyes off of him. He’s so hot and sexy and I just want to jump through the television screen and bone him. I think it must have something to do with the bad ass guy in the powerful position, but inside he’s this sweet little teddy bear of a man. And it’s not Gandolfini that gets me horny. It’s TONY SOPRANO. I’ve seen James Gandolfini play in other roles, and I’m not into him. It’s funny, because Brent is into the series too, and every night we get in bed and watch. B is under the covers, casually stretched out with his arms behind his head. And I am at the end of the bed, cross legged, sitting up straight and staring at the screen intensely. Every once in awhile my hands are to my mouth and I’m saying “Oh God” and exhaling. B thinks I’m the weirdest fucking woman to ever walk the face of the earth.

Please tell me that there are others out there like me.

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14 Responses to “I heart Tony Soprano”


  1. 1 Areto November 14, 2006 at 12:17 pm

    ha! i used to watch xena that way. welcome to the nerd herd;) just kidding!

    i don’t own an ipod, haven’t watched much sex in the city and have never seen the sopranos. i’ve also lived w/o tv for most of my adult life this far and have never personally owned a cable hookup (there was just that stint in the dorms where i got to watch animal planet;)

    but then i *am* a nerd so don’t gage things by me!;)

  2. 2 sunShine November 14, 2006 at 2:17 pm

    I don’t own an Ipod, so you are ahead of me if you own one.

    I LOVE the Sopranos. We get HBO only to watch the Sopranos and when the season ends we cancel it! I am not attracted to Tony though. I think I should have been a mob boss’ wife! January is the final season, I can’t wait.

  3. 3 Jenn November 14, 2006 at 5:26 pm

    I have no Ipod and I do have cable but I have never ever watched the Sopranos. I dont know why, I mean everyone is always talking about it. Maybe one day I might watch it. We will see.

  4. 4 katenmiasmom April 9, 2007 at 3:14 am

    I know you posted this forever ago, but lady, this one deserves comment.

    Tony Soprano is HOT.

    H-O-T-T Hot!

    I agree- as an man, James G. is NOT at all attractive. There is something about Tony that is just- well- appealing.

    I don’t know why. His power is sickening. Wrong. Immoral. Unethical.

    I’m not normally attracted to “bad boys”- but Tony isn’t exactly your normal “bad boy”. He’s a bad ass!

    Anyway. Just so you know. I don’t think you are crazy. And I swear my 2nd was conceived after watching a Sopranos episode. Just don’t tell my husband that’s what did it for me.

  5. 5 TJ April 11, 2007 at 7:43 am

    I love Tony Soprano too – f’ing hot!!! He is so smokin and gets me juices flowing! Oh girl, I want to —- him off!!!!!

  6. 7 Mafia Angel December 4, 2008 at 9:17 pm

    I think Tony Soprano is the sexiest man alive, I’ve always had a fetish for mob guys [italian] and always had an interest in the Mafia. Tony Soprano is fuckin sexy… sexiest man ever. I don’t think I’ve even been so attracted to a television character. But I do think James Gandolfini is attractive too… but Tony Soprano he’s just soooo sexy… he is a sweet teddy bear really just suffering from alot of pain and upset which sprung from his childhood and i dont think hes a sociopath at all cuz he does have remorse on things he does and he does show feelin… he just does what he has to do ya know? businesswise… i would love to be married to tony soprano i wouldnt care about him cheatin cuz at the end of the day he can give his body to anyone but theres only one person his heart would be with and thats me [if i were married to him] hot sexy man… ill have you anyday tony ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. 8 Gwen April 17, 2009 at 12:04 am

    I am three years behind you in this, it now being 2009. But yes, I suffer from the same, um, condition, concerning Tony Soprano. Painfully sexy guy. Can hardly wait to watch my next episode.

  8. 9 Dee November 29, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    I agree when you say that Tony Soprano is hot!! Love The Sopranos and am about as proficient in the show as I am with The Godfather (all three parts…love that Michael Corleone ;^)

    I’m Italian and grew up with that New Jersey Mafia (wannabe) demeanor coming from the men in my family. TS is a big, balding, violent dude who cheats on his wife constantly. But his power and his ability to take care of business but also show a sensitive side (remember the ducks and Pie-O-My) is hot. The love scenes TS has done are hot too. Call me crazy, but whatever!

  9. 10 Miss Wijdan Said April 18, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    Fuck Tony Soprano he’s a fictional character. James Gandolfini is the sexiest man alive inside and out he’s got such a big heart. I love him to bits. He’s a diamond. And he doesn’t crave the attention a lot of celebrities do these days. He’s a humble and grounded me. Love ya Jimmy!

  10. 11 Henry Hill July 24, 2010 at 5:51 am

    Gandolfini is a fat hack. I hope he saved his money because this blimp will never be a star. He has huge man jugs and a fat body. If this fat sausage tried to take my parking spot at Safeway, I’d tear his fat greasy arse into pieces. As far as fictional MOB bosses go, he’s the lamest ever. You suk Phony Tony. Try Jenny Craig Michelin Man.

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  1. 1 God Loves Tony Soprano - Chattering Mind Trackback on July 19, 2011 at 5:34 pm

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