The Haircut

When Animal was born, he had a full head of hair. Since he was a week early, his entire body was completely covered in vernix, including his head. My midwife didn’t want me to bathe him for at least a week, because of the chill. I tried, I really did. I kept his little newborn cap on him, but kept sneaking peeks at his hair, which dried and hardened and looked like a clumpy mass of grossness. I think it was less than 24 hours before he got his first shampoo. When his hair dried, it was an afro puff of fuzzy blondeness. He looked like a mad professor. I couldn’t get over how much hair he had. And by the way, I didn’t have an episode of heartburn to speak of (which I fully attribute to my excellent prenatals and papaya enzymes) so the heartburn=lots of hair wive’s tale has been thrown out the window.

Anyway, since Animal has always been…well, an ANIMAL, he almost immediately started in with this strange habit of rubbing his head furiously from side to side when he was lying on his back. After a few months, he had rubbed all of the hair around his head. All that remained was a long tuft on top, much like a thick mohawk, but resembling more of a combover. Poor Animal, everyone made fun of his hair. It just kept growing longer and longer on top, and bald everywhere else. Something had to be done. It took me awhile, but I talked B into shaving his entire head. That way, he’d have a fresh start. All of the hair on his noggin’ would be the same length. If you’ve been a regular follower of my blog, you’ll have already seen the pictures, but I shall post them again for the newcomers.



It was an odd looking haircut for an infant, but it worked. His hair grew out nicely and was straight and white blonde and lovely. Now B’s family has a tradition in which the male offspring are not to have their first haircut until they reach the age of 2. For this reason, B had sweet little blonde curls to match his long, girly eyelashes until he was a toddler. I had planned to do the same with Rylan. However, as time went by, he started looking more and more, shall we say…white trash. Once again, I had to talk B into the cutting of the bebe’s hair. It took B forever to decide, and even as we drove to the salon, B was saying “Oh my God, I think I’m having second thoughts. I’m getting cold feet. God! This is worse than getting MARRIED!

Still, we made it there and everything went wonderfully. Animal sat still in the chair, looking like a tiny pinhead with a huge cape while he waited patiently for his mini-makeover.

Here’s the before:

And the after:

It’s taken awhile to get used to the new ‘do. I think he looks older and fatter. I’m not quite sure I like it. But I feel some relief in knowing that it won’t be long before his hair is back at it’s original white trashy length.


1 Response to “The Haircut”

  1. 1 thordora December 12, 2006 at 12:41 am

    I had NASTY heartburn with Viv, and she was BALD as all hell. That stuff is such shit, stupid wives tales.

    We have some lady mullets going on here. Haircut time after Christmas. Which should be a JOY with Ros.

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