Yesterday I took Pigpen to a new pediatrician. (Practically the only one on our side of the island…EVERYONE sees this guy.) His name is Dr. Bob. Pretty cool guy, I’d say. Really kid-friendly. I talked to him about Pigpen’s incontinence issues and he gave me a few good tips that I hadn’t heard of yet. (I’ll spare you the details.) But he was definitely super-quick to jump on the medication bandwagon. He whipped out that prescription pad for something that would relax my little one’s overactive bladder. I imagine it was pretty surprising to him when I declined. One thing that he did during the appointment, which really turned me off, is when he told Pigpen that “pretty soon the kids at school are going to start making fun of you for peeing your pants because you’ll smell.” Yeah. That’s real appropriate, Mr. Professional.
He also referred us to a “specialist” for the ADD diagnosis. The guy’s card says that he’s a therapist and a “coach.” I can’t help imagining some cheesy, plastic guy in cheap suit talking to us like he’s a car salesman or an annoying motivational speaker. Or even the guy in the cleaning product infommercials who yells very quietly. The coach’s card says “Helping tame the ADDled brain!” Is “addled” even a word? And if so, who uses it? He actually has a trademark next to the phrase, so apparently it’s uniquely his. The whole thing weirds me the fuck out.