20 things I did in November

Things that happened to me this month:

1. I had a job interview at a bank. I didn’t get the job.
2. I interviewed several different nannies.
3. I took Animal to his first dentist appointment ever, where I was told that the pacifier is the sole reason behind his insanely crooked smile.
4. I watched my kids make Pinewood derby cars, which failed miserably at the race.
5. I took Pigpen to Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party and almost had a panic attack from being surrounded by hysterical little people.
6. I bought myself two pairs of jeans, both in a size too small. I fit in them now.
7. I stayed on Atkin’s Induction phase for 2 weeks, before I promptly removed myself when I started getting severe abdominal cramping that freaked me out.
8. I exercised about 10 times.
9. I lost 8 pounds.
10. I bought a crapload of cloth diapers. Somewhere around $200 worth.
11. I sold diapers, nowhere near the amount I spent.
12. I bought two new bras, in the wonderful size of 36D.
13. My littlest goddaughter had a birthday and I sent her a sweet little package by mail.
14. I switched from rum to whiskey.
15. I started watching the first season of the Sopranos and fell in lust.
16. I rededicated myself to my doula training, and signed up for Childbirth Ed.
17. I blogged every single day on two separate blogs.
18. I joined the Blog Exchange and the Housewife Mafia.
19. I rejoined Flylady.net and started fluttering again.
20. I tried DIY bikini line wax. (P.S., not a good idea.)

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My Unfavorite Things

1. Pet hair
2. Bible beaters
3. Fakes
4. Mushrooms, anything spicy, and shellfish
5. Contemporary Christian music
6. The smell of beauty bark
7. Playing pool and bowling
8. Having things thrown at me. Usually balls, but I’m flinchy with anything being thrown near my face. Including fists.
9. Beer
10. People who hog the TV and the computer at the same time.
11. Watching sports
12. Putting the laundry away and unloading the dishwasher
13. Washing my hair with no conditioner
14. Hair removal, including eyebrow waxing, pube upkeep and leg shaving.
15. People who can’t spell
16. Teenagers
17. Orange
18. Epidurals
19. Baby formula
20. Disposable diapers
21. Convenience items, like a single packaged hard boiled egg or carrot sticks.
22. Overpriced cleaning items (convenience again) like Swiffers. Ever heard of a BROOM???
23. Car sickness. Ugh.
24. Stores that don’t carry bras over a size D or pants over a size 14
25. Public speaking
26. Interviews
27. Sleeping with socks on
28. Wool
29. That twitch I always get in my right eye
30. The hiccups
31. Cellulite and stretch marks
32. People who are high strung
33. Science, Math, Logic.
34. Action or Sci Fi movies
35. Old People (I’m sorry Grandma. You freak me out.)
36. Explosive diarrhea and projectile vomit
37. Babies who play with their poopie
38. Peeing outside and having to drip dry
39. The tequila shits (Oh I have a theme going on here.)
40. PEOPLE WHO TALK DURING THE MOVIE
41. Super sour shit
42. Waiting in the doctor’s office. Especially in the paper gown.
43. Crazy agressive drivers
44. The cost of tampons
45. Bad teeth
46. Public toilets
47. Zits
48. Having the Korean waxing lady always ask me if I want my mustache waxed. What!
49. Getting old
50. Meth

My favorite things

My favorite things:

1. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens (No, just kidding.)
2. Purple
3. Butterflies
4. Fettucine alfredo, egg rolls, and Cadbury eggs
5. Hot white chocolate mochas and ice cold diet coke with Bacardi light rum
6. A fire. Indoors or out.
7. Shoes & handbags
8. Sex & The City, The Sopranos and The Office
9. Leaving Las Vegas & Gone With The Wind
10. Oprah book club books
11. Fiona Apple and India Arie
12. The way my baby’s hands always smell like graham crackers
13. Rollercoasters
14. Camping
15. Getting giggly drunk
16. Smelling Jewel’s shampoo (aka bridging the 3,000 mile gap between me and Jewel so that I am close enough to actually smell her hair.)
17. Comedy shows
18. Laughing until my face turns beet red and I’m crying and I can’t stop
19. Everything having a place and everything in it’s place.
20. Warm vanilla sugar scented items from Bath & Body Works
21. Compulsively shopping for cloth diapers, baby coats, hats and shoes
22. Massages
23. Clean burning candles
24. Going to La Leche League and not feeling like a crazy hippie for one night out of the month.
25. Sleeping with my boys
26. Down comforters
27. Sunshine and blue skies
28. Air conditioning
29. Getting the mail
30. Yoga
31. Writing. Anything. Even a thank you note or a grocery list.
32. Flip flops
33. Sephora
34. Thunderstorms
35. Babies
36. Reading birth stories, watching babies be born naturally
37. Animal’s sleepyface
38. Nissan Altimas
39. Weeping willows and orchids
40. Picking blackberries
41. Waterslides
42. Photography
43. Smelling the salty ocean air
44. Exploring
45. Breaking the rules
46. Gift giving
47. The Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh
48. Daydreaming
49. Rollerskating, ice skating
50. Brown paper packages tied up with strings. (Kidding again.)